This pregnancy is so very different than with Noah.......I long for that joy and happiness I felt while I was pregnant with him. That joy and happiness I feel has been sucked out of my soul......
With Noah I did everything so different and looked at things from a completely different perspective. This time the thoughts and feelings about the upcoming weeks, the amnio, the results are so etched in my mind that I am unable to separate them from everything else and enjoy the gift, beauty and joy of pregnancy.
I long for the day that I will find peace and comfort. I so badly want to believe that this baby will be okay. I feel like I did everything perfect with Noah and it failed. Even though I know the ins and outs of SMA and there is nothing I could have done while pregnant to help, I still feel that I could have done something different. This time I know the risk and possibility that this baby may have SMA. It kills me and the anxiety of the wait is wearing on me.
I just hope for the next few weeks to pass by quickly so I can know what to expect and move on....
Yet again....we wait.....
Our life since our perfect little Noah was diagnosed with SMA type 2
Love you guys. We are praying for you. Please let us know if there is anything we can do.
ReplyDelete-Tam
I am thinking of you and keeping you in my nightly prayers. I remember that same anxiousness while pregnant with our second child and just had to keep reminding myself that my baby already was the person she would be and we just didn't know what that was yet. I hope the amnio goes smoothly and that you get some peace in these next few weeks.
ReplyDeleteWe're always with you as you travel the road you're on. The Casten Family.
ReplyDelete