This post is meant to be insightful, not offensive.....
Expectations are a funny thing....just about as funny as people's perspectives.
Each and every morning minus the weekends I get up and get ready for work. Everyone still asleep when I leave. I make the 30 drive to work, put in an 8 hour day and then a 30 minute drive back home. In my life, 30 minutes is a lot of precious time. I usually get home from work around 5:30. Then a whole new marathon begins. I juggle homework, making Noah's food, feeding both kids and getting them bathed and in bed in 2 and a half hours by myself because Lane works evenings. Then back to homework again. In the midst of all of this I make Noah's appointments, deal with all of the SMA stuff and be his advocate, which is a full time job in itself.
Now I'm not complaining, simply giving insight to a day from my perspective.
This is where it all becomes funny. I have had multiple people say why don't you take a break, or why don't you ever have any time? Seriously?? When, How? A breakdown of my day is never a good enough explanation which astounds me. I am one person....with a lot of daily tasks to complete. I know I am not perfect, I forget things and people A LOT! It is not intentional but my focus is the boys and school at the moment. It will be a miracle when I finish. At some point in my free time, Lane and I are going to put together a video of 24 hours of our life. Should be interesting.
So back to expectations, for some I am expected to do things on a dime. So for anyone who wonders why I haven't called, text or whatever it's not because I have forgotten about you or anything of that nature. It is simply that whenever I do get a free minute, I take a few breaths and get back to it. I love all of you that think and pray for us, we appreciate it very much. I am much better at receiving calls than making them. Hint, hint ;) I am tired, stretched thin, overwhelmed and my emotions are a roller coaster. Thanks for your understanding. Please know I am trying........
7 things you don't know about a special needs parent....
Our life since our perfect little Noah was diagnosed with SMA type 2
I really liked the article you linked to. I'll be the first to admit I don't understand--I try to, but I never will. We try too... I struggle becuase I want to help, I want to see you (but with the winter comes all the colds--latest was strep--that keep us away so as to not do more harm than good), I want our kids to play together--but then I wonder if I will say or do the wrong thing. If I do, please forgive me. I don't intend to. I love you, Lane and your beautiful boys so much. We pray for you. We wish there was more we could do. When my kids get healthy, I really would love to watch them for you--particularly on a Monday or Tuesday night so you can go on a date (or is it Tuesday and Wednesday? I can never keep track--not because I don't care, but because I forget things too). From the article, it talked about how hard it is to be around other "typical" (her word, not mine) children. I have wondered if this is particularly difficult around Brayden because he and Noah are the same age-it has made me even more anxious about saying the wrong thing...maybe it shouldn't, but it does. There is so much more I want to say...but don't know how. Just know we love you. We miss you. As a working mother, I can slightly understand how busy you are--I can only imagine how much more being a student and taking care of everything you need to for Noah's SMA throws on top of it all. I know I've said it several times, but the only thing I can say is we love you. So much.
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